Hey everyone, the life and journey that is Satellites and Sirens continues. Although, that journey at the moment has taken on a relatively domestic flare, as we’re currently on a nice 2 week break from the road. It’s hard to imagine, but we’ve barely been home for the last four months. It almost seems foreign anymore to drive back into Nashville, our home. It’s a good feeling, but a strange one nonetheless when you realize that you spend less time at home than you do elsewhere. This, however, is exactly what we signed up for, so you won’t hear any complaining from us. Rather, when we’re home we enjoy our time with family and loved ones while we can.
If you tuned into the blog last week, than you know I had a small battle with a rogue crew of ants that had gotten into my kitchen. Falling into a similar line…This week’s edition of “David Troyer’s relatively boring, but astonishingly interesting stories from domestic home life,” once again revolves around the adventures of me and my home. I’ll say this in advance, my home is very neat and tidy! Ok, now it’s in italics and I’ve thrown an exclamation into the mix, so it must mean I’m serious. I say this because I fear that between last week’s story, and this week’s, you might get the impression that I live in a dump. Rather, envision this all happening in a nice, tidy home. Personally, it makes the stories that much more funny, as most of us don’t generally have strange nature encounters within our nice, tidy homes…apparently, I do…..in a neighborhood far removed from what we would commonly refer to as, “nature”.
Ok, we’re going to jump into the “Way Back” machine, and go back in time. About a year ago, it was a sunny beautiful morning, the birds were chirping, the sun was out, and I was waking up at 6:30am to a strange sound. Do you know that sound? The one where you wake up, and you swear you heard someone in your home? Your ears prick up, the hair on your neck is standing at attention, and you have gone from deep sleep to wide awake in only a split second? Yep, that was me at 6:30am. I lay in bed very still, as I just knew I heard an intruder. I probably laid there for a good 30 seconds to a minute, listening as intently as I’d ever listened. In that 30-60 seconds I think I came up with 9 ways to go Jason Bourne all over this intruder. He wasn’t going to know what hit him…I was going to pummel this guy into oblivion…
Another 30 seconds go by….and….nothing. Well, the so-called intruder would live another day. I felt confident that I must have dreamt the noise, and I had a date with sleep, so I let myself doze off again. I couldn’t have been asleep long before I was awakened yet again to that noise. This time my “intruder alert” was going crazy, and I was Jason Bourne all over again. Additionally, this time I was certain that the noise was coming from inside my bedroom!!! Now, let’s be honest, my heart rate was really going. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that either someone else was in my room or I was going crazy. As I opened my eyes, I surveyed the room (while laying motionless, mind you. I’m surprisingly good at that ninja skill). Due to where my bed is in relation to my room, I could see the whole room, save for under my bed. As far as I could tell, there was no one else in my room. I was baffled… As I could still hear the sounds of the intruder…
Well, by this time my “Intruder Alert” had dropped a notch or two, but I still needed to get up and figure out what the deal was. As I sat up in my bed, I surveyed the room yet again…and there he was…the intruder… To say I was stunned, would be the understatement of the century. There I was. In my bed. In my tidy house. The world felt like it was going to end… I had now locked eyes with a raccoon that was standing about 6 feet from my bed. You read that right. A raccoon! You might have had the same reaction I did, “How in the world did a raccoon get into my bedroom?!?!?!” I can tell you with great certainty, as that thing not only stared at me, but then sprinted directly at me, that I thought I would maybe lose my bladder simply in disbelief as to what was happening. That’s right…It sprinted directly at me(!!!) with great speed and fury…. only to run under my bed. At that moment, I was no longer Jason Bourne, but a supremely confused David Troyer. I quickly hopped out of bed and ran like a school girl out of my bedroom. There was zero part of me that wanted anything to do with a trapped raccoon in my bedroom.
….And the story gets better…but I’ll leave it for next week’s edition of “David Troyer’s relatively boring, but astonishingly interesting stories from domestic home life”.
I hope you’re all doing well, and that you are constantly learning and growing in faith and love for others and for Christ.