Phew. Lately I feel like I’m running just to catch my breath. I know I’m blessed to be able to be on the road so much. I know some new artists would kill for some of the opportunities God has given me this year. I know. And I’m grateful. But all this travel has definitely taken a toll on my heart. I’ve been away from my church home and my community of friends. I’ve had to learn to relish days off the road and find routine in the most un-routine lifestyle there is. Still, I press on with joy remembering that God knows exactly what I need. And He has blessed me immensely by bringing great people into my life from all over the country.
I’ve been praying about what to write to you all this month, and I came across an old journal entry from last summer that I thought I would share with you. I was in a different place last year, but the things I felt were so similar to how I’m feeling lately. I hope it blesses you. Here it is:
“It’s amazing to me how God always knows everything, and I know nothing. Really. He is so much greater than I could ever be, and His thoughts are MUCH higher than my thoughts. I feel so tied up sometimes…unable to make any change or do anything about people’s feelings or actions or change anything too soon. It’s like I want Fall to be here so badly—changing leaves, Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks, scarves and sweaters and opening the windows—but I have to wait for summer to end no matter how badly I want Fall to come. Fall is on the schedule of seasons, and it’s coming when it’s coming. I can’t do anything about it. The same goes for every season I want to experience in life—marriage, motherhood, touring, writing, ministry, etc. All these will come in their appointed time. And even though I want these things but don’t have them all yet, I know I can still be completely satisfied in God. The things He offers me are heavenly, eternal, weighty, lasting, and significant. What I long for on earth, no matter how great, is still temporal.
God, I know You love me so much, and I believe You do want to give me these things I desire, but I don’t have a clue how and when You will do them all, and it’s silly for me to waste time wondering or worrying over when, why, or how. I must trust You and let go of the need to know. I will let You bring them all. And in the mean time, I will enjoy being where I am. I am learning what contentment means. I don’t need all that the world has to offer. I need You, Lord. Thank You for never letting me go but for always holding me close to Your heart. I need You alone. You are my life!”
Well, that pretty much sums it up! God is so good, friends. He loves you, and He’s never left you. Ever. Don’t forget that.