Here I sit in my “office” (it’s really just an extra room upstairs in my house that desperately needs a bright coat of paint) about a week into the release of my debut album, and there is so much going through my head and my heart. I will attempt to share some of it with you. First things first: I am SO excited to have a finished record in my hands and to know that it’s reaching many of you too! This is the first time I’ve had an album release nationwide, and it’s amazing. Dreams do come true, friends. If that’s all you take from me today, take that, because it’s true.
I visited my local Target a few days after the album came out to see if they had it in stock. When I got to the media department, I found the Christian section (small as it may be) and scanned the headings for my name. When I found it, I literally squealed. I let out a second squeal when I saw that there was only one record left! Pretty cool. There was a girl next to me checking out the latest Toby Mac or Tomlin record, and I thought maybe she would notice my squeal, look at the picture on the cover, look back at me, and ask, “Is that you?” Oh, but she didn’t. Nope. Not at all. It didn’t hinder my excitement, but it did make me think.
Humility is not a four-letter word, friends. In fact, it’s a really good word. It’s scary to write this to you because God doesn’t let me write about or talk about or sing about things He doesn’t first make me walk through…and continue to allow me to walk through. For example: I played a CD release show in Orlando the day after my album came out, and over 1,000 people showed up! You don’t understand—this has never happened before. I was thrilled. But I think God allowed me to play my very next show to 70 people just to remind me that it’s not about the size of the crowd. Oh how I wish it were easy to remember that.
I wish every day that the call of God was easier to walk out. I wish I loved traveling as much as some people I know. I wish I wasn’t such a homebody—such a domestic diva who would rather bake cookies and pick out rugs for my new house than get on an early morning flight to go to a city I’ve never been to before. But if all of life were perfectly satisfying, when would I take time to talk to God? If I was 100% fulfilled by my life, I would be so self-sufficient that I wouldn’t need Him—or at least, I would think I didn’t need Him.
I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy or get satisfaction out of what I do. I absolutely LOVE making music and sharing it with people all over the place. I have been enormously blessed, and I am beyond grateful for the call of God on my life. What I’m trying to say is that even when you are in the will of God and are doing exactly what He’s planned for you to do, everything is not a bed of roses. Or as I usually say, everything is not cake and ice cream. (I don’t know where I got that expression from, but it’s entirely possible that I made it up. You can use it if you’d like.) I love my job, and God has equipped me for the task at hand, but I am still human. I still bleed, and I still hurt, and I will never stop needing Him more than anything else.
I’m also learning, through all the changes taking place in my life right now, that transition is a way of life. Change happens. We’re never completely ready for it, but that’s the beauty of it. It’s in the transition that we detest that God celebrates the growth that, if we let it, is taking place inside our hearts. Hallelujah!
So no matter where He has you right now, friends, try to shake off the hurriedness that wants to grab hold of you, and remember that the season you’re in is not a mistake. He will take you to the next place when it’s time for the next place. Live right now with all the fervor you can muster, and expect great things to come.
I hope this wasn’t too all over the place. I told you I had a lot on my mind! J Keep it real, friends. See you soon! -FB